abstraction

whether it was Barthe, or Sartre, i cannot remember, but one of them (or someone else), wrote perceptively about viewing all of life through a camera lens.

the gist was that all our earthly existence we feel removed, abstracted - from our bodies, from our minds, from all that our senses try and tell us.
for who are we indeed, but a camera lens with a running background commentary?

especially now in considering the immanent death of my grandfather, i think i have never felt further removed from the psychicality of reality - that is, the spiritual/mental linkedness with the world. a lack of connectedness, of partaking in the emotional norms, knowing - or even wanting to know - how to react, behave, think.
and not that it is just now, in the present circumstances - they are simply a magnifying lens (no pun intended) that heighten (or deaden?) my understanding.


indeed, as Paul writes,

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.(1Cor13:12)

how i long for that day when abstraction, disconnectedness, a true drinking-in of reality, will be a lasting actuality.