procrastination, heresy, and navel-gazing.

Monday, October 22, 2007

sabre-tooths and memes

me and my self-psycho-analysing ways have come up with a new hypothesis regarding men, women and singleness

anecdotally, it seems women can get along well with, and are supported well by, their female friends
perhaps an evolutionary sociologist would work this out along "meme" theory, where the men were more likely to die in battle, or by being ravaged by a sabre-toothed tiger; the women would support one another in a widows' fellowship
it seems this as a default position, whilst not preferable, may at least be tolerated

men, however are by their nature more solitary, or with 1-2 close friends. when one, and then both of these friends get hooked up, or move, or meet with the menacing Smilodon, the default mode is not to join a men's support network, but to become solitary. the loss of their few confidants is pretty much the end of it for them

the evolutionary sociologist, again, might leap into gear again, this meme being part of the "leader-of-the-pack" ideology, where it's lonely up the top. (tho, again, my hypothesis is that this is due more to necessity than desire)

men, therefore, need that female companionship in some ways more than do the women., as their default position will not be to seek male companionship, but solitude.

perhaps this helps explain why some women can find commitment to a bloke tough - the default position isn't so bad, and this compared with the perceived uncertainty of marriage, the default is immensely more preferable.

the maniacal ramblings of a jilted man, or a profound philosophical treatise. i'll be the judge, thanks.


Blogger deb-o-raw said...

This is an big issue Dougie.

It is true that women generally have a lot of friends & men have relatively few - and when they do "hook up", generally tend to drift away from their few friends & stick to their "girl" and float on the outskirts of the social networks she is involved in.

Perhaps part of it is the fact that we love to talk - we need to share those extra words each day with someone!

I think particularly of those who have been married for a long time & one spouse dies. Women seem to cope better because they generally have numerous "deep" friendships & hence a support network. It appears to be a lot harder for widowers to grieve & continue on.

However, one thing is for sure, in the face of loneliness & heartbreak, it is very painful, no matter what your gender.

I, for one, am all in favour of a bit of manly bondship & support. Come on boys, group together! Come on girls, encourage it!

But of course, the best comfort is found in Christ Jesus, our Lord & Saviour.

1:35 pm  
Blogger psychodougie said...

yeah, i think that we're in agreement.

and obviously the immediate feeling of the absence is going to be acute, whatever the gender.

my point is, as i think you concur, that the support network is gonna be better for chicks, and the moving on with support, is by inference going to be heaps easier.
tho of course, it's all relative.

3:51 pm  
Blogger Aaron Plunkett said...

Phillip Jensen, in 'love, sex & marriage' series, talks about how men need a partner more than women because of the way we are made and function.
I can see the logic in this.

2:44 pm  

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