The structure of this psalm in terms of the relationship of the cola to each other is quite difficult to establish. Here's my attempt. The bold is just to help see the parallel elements, whether bold or not. 8b is the most confusing element, but after reflection, it could be reusing "my eye" from 8a, and linking its condition to the adversaries in 8b-9a.
Anyway, it's not pretty (I've tried to maintain the word order where possible), but it's powerful nonetheless. The solitary colon in 4b is extra stark when the parallelism between 3d and 4a is seen.
One thing we didn't discuss was v11, which is an ABBA structure, around the inclusio of בושׁ (to be ashamed) in 11a,d. The verse reuses בהל (to be terrified) from 4a, as well as שׁוב (to return/turn back) from v5 (interesting that שׁוב and בושׁ are mirror images of each other!). v11 also provides the third synonym for adversaries, with "those hostile to me" (8b), "doers of iniquity" (9a), and "my enemies" (11).
1 For the director, with strings, on the eight.
A David psalm.
2 Yhwh, do not, in your anger, rebuke me.
and do not, in your wrath, discipline me.
3 Be gracious to me, Yhwh,
for feeble am I.
Heal me, Yhwh,
for dismayed are my bones.
4 And my soul is terrified greatly,
and you—Yhwh—how long?
5 Return, Yhwh,
rescue my soul,
save me
because of your steadfast love.
6 For none among the dead remembers you,
in Sheol who praises you?
7 I am weary with my groans;
I flood all the night my bed,
with my tears my couch I soak.
8 Wasting away from grief is my eye,
[my eye] has shriveled, because of all those hostile to me.
9 Away from me—all doers of iniquity,
for Yhwh hears my weeping,
10 Yhwh hears my supplication,
Yhwh my prayer accepts.
11 They will be ashamed,
and they’ll be terrified greatly, all my enemies,
they will turn back
and be put to shame immediately.
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