when ya gotta go

so i had my blood test this morning, and then was given this bottle for a specimen. so i went into the loo and, well that was about it. i stood around for a while. had a drink. thought about waterfalls and rivers and lagoons and billabongs.

then i very humbly apologised, took my leave and left them empty handed.

how do i get over this performance anxiety? has anyone had similar experiences? handy hints?

i guess i could listen to my cassette tape of Ren and Stimpy's "don't wizz on the electric fence" although that may not actually help any, yet it does give some great mental pictures of urinating.

from memory:

you can swizzle on the sofa
piddle in the air
you can tinkle in the toilet
(that's why it is there)
but when nature calls
and you need to go
just don't wizz on the electric fence

or something like that!

mo thanks

thanks for all your support of movember.
together we raised several thousand dollars and many men had some great breakthrough evangelistic conversations with workmates and friends because of their mo (perhaps in spite of?)

below is my final effort, as pencilesque as i could make it.

unfortunately the national winner was a borat impersonator.
complete with a green shoulder length lycra ... something. not sure what the name is. nor where you could even get your hands on such a thing! not that i would like to know, but, well, golly!

thanks again.

when beta blogger won't work

as has happened before, when trying to comment on drew's blog, and being repeatedly refused (darn you, beta - don't you know everyone who is anyone has switched to vhs!), i have decided to blog instead.

discussing my leftist leanings today, then further prompted by drew's post, i continue to be reminded of the hopelessness of anything claiming to unite humanity, and the futility of pinning our hopes on the (mankind-led) revolution.

even one of my faves, isaac asimov, picturing a humanity spread throughout the stars (in dust like stars), has the declaration of indepence as this highly prized gem, which, were it escape the hands of the baddies, would finally unite mankind in unprecedented peace and harmony.

thankfully we do not pin our hopes on a revolution of our own creation, but on the son of david. praise be to God!

as drew quotes:

Isaiah 16:4-5"[...]let the outcasts of Moab
sojourn among you;
be a shelter to them
from the destroyer.
When the oppressor is no more
and destruction has ceased,
and he who tramples underfoot has vanished from the land,
then a throne will be established in steadfast love,
and on it will sit in faithfulness
in the tent of David
one who judges and seeks justice
and is swift to do righteousness.”

WSBI

firstly: the new-look wild street church website is up! check it out on the sidebar.

secondly: next year the wild street bible institute is underway, and i am still thinking through possible topics. the format is to be (i'm thinking) 45 min talk, 45 min small group discussion. to be held monthly.
topics thus far are:

Carthage (the church of martyrs)
Alexandria (allegory)
Athens (historico-contextual method)
Rome (church governance/leadership)
Constantinople (esp 381 and trinitarian controversy)
Sin - the nature of the atonement
Source Criticism

got any suggestions as regards format of the time, other possible subjects?
any appreciated!

God wants YOU (rich)

seeing as i don't seem to find time to post, i'll just link to those i like myself: for starters, here's a lovely video with some great ditties of the prosperity type. sing along if you know the words!

God - The Ultimate Terrorist?

with no more SOCM, i am able to go to the Christianity and Contemporary Thought seminars held by CASE, and heard this talk by Andrew Cameron, entitled Terrorism and Christianity.

as the talk went on, with various definitions of Terrorism being bandied about, i kept thinking more and more (no pun intended), that God would actually fit many of the definitions of a terrorist.
Oliver O'Donovan's definition is (paraphrased, from memory), "one who furthers their viewpoint by intimidation", excluding those who would set up a viable, alternative government.
but would not this include God? i present the following reasons:

And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. (Matthew 10:28)
For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God. (Deuteronomy 4:24)
Honour everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the emperor. (1 Peter 2:17)

God obviously presents a choice of Him, or destruction. if you're not on the God-Train, you're going to get run over.

Jesus answered, “My kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom were of this world, my servants would have been fighting, that I might not be delivered over to the Jews. But my kingdom is not from the world.” (John 18:36)

there is no viable alternative government (at least in the here-and-now) proposed. rather (as in 1 Peter 2:17 ob cit.) we are to honour, not least pray for, the secular governments placed over us.

this sounds not at all dissimilar to many terrorist manifestos, there is simply a claim to legitimacy, of heritage, of third-knowledge, and the proven ability to carry out any and all threats.

of course the thing with terrorism is the unacceptability of their methods and the questionability of their ends. God, being the creator of all that is seen and unseen, is righteous. though perhaps not not a terrorist.

is this an acceptable apologetic angle, or has psychodougie gone too far this time?

ps sorry about the lack of blogging of late. i have no excuse, my priorities have simply been elsewhere.

incipit vita nova

for the unacquainted, hermann hesse, (along with aldous huxley and gabriel garcia marquez) is one of the authors who consistently gives me a fitfull night's sleep. take, for example, this exerpt from one of his first short stories:

"Shivering, I passed among the ruins of the world of my youth, over shattered thoughts and twisted, quivering dreams, and everything I looked at dissolved into dust and ceased to live. I saw friends whom I was ashamed of knowing, thoughts I had thought only recently looked me in the face, and they had grown as alien and remote as if they had been a hundred years old and never been mine. Everything fell away from me, and soon there was a deadly emptiness and calm all about me. I had nothing more that was close to me, no loved ones or neighbours, and my life rose up in me with a shudder of disgust. Every measure was full to overflowing, every altar desecrated; there was no sweetness but sickened me, no summit I had not left behind me. Every shimmer of purity was spent, every intimation of beauty defaced and trampled under foot. I had nothing more to long for, nothing more to offer, nothing more to hate. Everything that was still sacred and unravished and harmonious within me had lost its eyes and voice. All the guardians of my life had fallen asleep. All the bridges had been severed and all horizons robbed of their blue."

Hermann Hesse, Incipit vita nova, 1899 (from Stories of Five Decades, Triad/Panther, 1976)

mo respektabul mo

for those hesitant to sponsor my mo-efforts, i just wanted to let you know it's now a very respectable pencil moustache, as modelled here by david niven

so it would be great if you could throw a few clams the way of movember.
do it for the fur!

more mo (mo mo)

after being warned against #6 and growing it as such, then being informed the rules did not allow for the tache to join with the burns, this is the progress, 13 days in.

you like? or should i rather go espanol? i realise the hitler is a little un-p.c. perhaps the david niven pencil moustache?

strike!!!

as much as i love a good rally, holding up a sign, and traffic, what role are Christians to play, when it involves contradicting the wishes of your employers. specifically:
1 Peter 2:13-14 Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good.
and
18-19 Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly.

is the question whether you place the union as supreme, ie worthy of more respect that your employers? what should Christians have done in Tienanmen Square, what about in Thatcher's England?
what about caring for the weak, the unprotected among us, those unable to stand up for themselves?

would not not striking mean you are complicit in their mistreatment? we can't all be Daniel, having a chat with the King, or the CEO i guess in our case.

thoughts? advice?

movember

yes, someone at my church had the grand idea that as a group of men we could participate in movember. therefore i need some ideas, of how to tame my voracious facial hair.
i'm leaning towards #6, the koteletten-bart, or sidies-beard.
please suggest away, if you wan to donate, (to support men's health issues - prostate cancer, testicular cancer, depression in men) feel free. you can do that here.

the allure of monasticism

i've been thinking again about the allure of monasticism.
when i start losing my hair, in the familiar pattern of the bald patch sort of postero-superiorly (you know where i mean...), it could be quite nice to just hang out and, well, just hang.
we never seem to get the time to just focus on the important things - as opposed to King Edmund, who took a year off to learn the Psalms off by heart (he later became St Edmund, after being martyred).

i talk i once heard stuck with me, where the point was that knowing we're in the last days should be a spur - not to go out and tell everyone, but rather,
not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. - Hebrews 10:25

so, has anyone else shared this longing?
can i up and go join the taize community? who's with me?

U2 : above the rest

i very nearly wet myself listening to U2's new single.
check it out here.


unless you really like them that is...

the nature of the incarnation

i thought people might apprectiate this quote from Augustine. i'm not sure where it's from - it's quoted here.

He it is by whom all things were made, and who was made one of all things; who is the revealer of the Father, the creator of the Mother; the Son of God by the Father without a mother, the Son of man by the Mother without a father; the Word who is God before all time, the Word made flesh at a fitting time, the maker of the sun, made under the sun; ordering all the ages from the bosom of the Father, hallowing a day of today from the womb of the Mother; remaining in the former, coming forth from the latter; author of the heaven and the earth, sprung under the heaven out of the earth; unutterably wise, in His wisdom a babe without utterance; filling the world, lying in a manger.

cool music. uncool musicians.

sort of following on from the previous discussions, how do we sort out the discontinuity with the cool-ness of music, with the un-cool-ness of the musicians?
a couple of cases in point are:

miles davis: drug addict, child neglecter, wife beater

queen: hopelessly amoral. not just the obvious reasons either

foofighters: support a "charity" claiming AIDS is a conspiracy

janis joplin, jimi hendrix, jim morrison: members of the so-called "27 club", all who died drug-related deaths (at age 27)

now, i love the music these people make, despite their (a)moral standing, but i sometimes ask the question, if they would have made the music they did, were they not the type of people they were?
i wonder whether their life of excess, and the resultant polarising affect they had (have) on people, actually drove them to create the kind of music they did

(of course, this applies to artists aswell - think brett whitley, h.r.geiger et al)

whilst i have nothing against the sons of korah, the creative edge we see in these others is often breathtaking.
perhaps it's all to do with the closeness between genius and madness.
maybe someone can point me in the direction of a morally upstanding, well-collected, widely renowned, genius? i, as always, am happy to be reproved.

this isn't about dissing these people who i regard as gifted. however i'm quite happy for you to diss the idea

the question of the phoenix

following my most successful post ever (one of these days i'll crack 10, is there anything more gratifying? that's a retorical question, btw), the question below was raised from my good friend alphabet soup:

"Some Christians are against embryonic stem cell research. For argument's sake, if such research were approved in Australia and did yield cures for some diseases, should those same Christians refuse the resultant treatments e.g. for Alzheimer's?
"Should Christians who have a problem with Maccas also not use Ronald McDonald's House on principle?"

i guess i would argue that the genesis of the technology may be less important than the technology itself.
that is to say, from my interest in science history* that the way particular inventions came about were often at best chance, often by-products (think alchemy) of ingenious, yet mad, or greedy, or misled "scientists", would lead me to say that there would be very little we could continue to use, were we to determine the morality of the wakening of each invention. not that we shouldn't be discerning. that is something i believe each person should be, rather:

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,[...]

we know that when men do things we may perceive as evil, intended for evil (such as Joseph and his bro's), God uses them for his good purposes. we can have confidence, so long as it does not offend our consciences - for that is sin, that God uses all things for the good of those who love him.

just as the phoenix was reborn from the fire, alzheimers sufferers may be reborn from embryonic stem cell research, and go on to love and serve the LORD. that we may disagree with their means and methodologies, may believe that the same, or even better result may be gained via use of adult stem cells, reflects on our views now towards research. not towards the good that may be gained thru it.

again, Acts 24:16 So I always take pains to have a clear conscience toward both God and man.
if your conscience is not clear, don't do it. if it is, especially towards God, then that's between you and God.

(and no, i'd probably see if there was someone who would be able to show hospitality to his brother in Christ and stay on their couch rather than at ronald's place. i think.)

* read the left hand of the electron by isaac asimov. just do. you won't regret it!

one-stop shop two

A quote from John Chapman at the MTS Challenge Conference (formerly known as Club 5):
We need to be like the Americans and plant churches next to the Golden Arches.
I think this may have been borrowed by him from someone else, but nevertheless it is something to think about; how different to the world do we need to be? If there's nothing wrong with Maccas, why not use them for us?
(if you really believe this, don't look here!)
welcome to St Ronalds. here's your outline. would you like fries with that?

(i especially like the reminder of the promise God made with Noah in Genesis 9! any out-there theories of what the rainbow may have to do with Maccas are welcome.)

slaves and free

reading through Colossians, and thinking about the up-coming 1 Peter series, i got to thinking:
the Apostles Paul and Peter both address slaves and teach the subversive message of Christ; that this world is passing away, along with its distinctions of slave and free.
at no point do they encourage dissent against human authorities, so long as this does not contravene their master who is in heaven.
how did william wilberforce*, and how do we, justify the abolition of slavery?

* a late 18th/early 19th century (Christian) leader of the campaign to abolish slavery

one-stop shop?

listening to sunday night safran on the 10th of september, right at the very end of the show they started discussing the paradigm boundaries that should exist.
the example they discussed was in a doctor's surgery you expect traditional western medicine. if you wanted crystals or reiki, there'd be more appropriate places to go.
in the same way, a church should be clear about what their business is. if they are about preaching the word, then they should preach the word. if they are about support groups - surely AA or GA or wherever else, may be more appropriate.
the boundaries around the world are becoming more and more blurred - do we really want to be a one-stop AA-Bible-Cafe-sporting club?
maybe we do...
i'd appreciate your thoughts - do we need to be more careful about our role, but more particularly how that role is perceived?

Hot Doug

how cool is that! a confectionary named after moi!
next there'll be little psychodougie figurines, then the cartoon, then the animated movie.
of course the next step would be the "real-life" movie (hugh jackman is apparently the nearest hollywood comparison to myself).
who knows where it'll go from there!

(i might add, however, that there has been nothing forthcoming from the gary larson cartoon, 'beware of the doug', so i don't expect too much)

eschatology and music (and angels!)

having read many a blog (drew et al) as well as articles suach as in the case magazine, and also seeing as drew's blog is inaccessible to simpletons such as myself (beta what?), i thought i'd make my response here!
Drew was commenting more specifically on U2, who claim to be Christian.
Nick Cave's claims, on the other hand, are not so straightforward. Having written the introduction to the book of Mark seems to have been more of a pop-culture-hook than embracing a fellow Christian with a common faith in a common God, the God of the Bible.
His eschatology is indeed quite sketchy, with a view few Christians would agree with.

But Drew's point about what i shall call 'osmosis' of spirituality, is something that quite intrigues me.
One of my favourite artists, Ben Harper, has some interesting thoughts in his music, yet is quite inconsistent with his thoughts when it comes to eschatology.

for example this section from waiting on an angel:

So speak kind to a stranger
cause you'll never know
it just might be an angel come
knockin' at your door
knockin' at your door
And I'm waiting on an angel
and I know it won't be long
to find myself a resting place
in my angel's arms
in my angel's arms
Waiting on an angel
one to carry me home
hope you come to see me soon
cause I don't want to go alone

this includes almost a direct quote from Hebrews 13:2,

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

but where does he get this idea of an angel being the one to take him home from?
The closest i can find is in 2 Kings 2, where Elisha is taken up, but by a whirlwind; in 1 Thessalonians 4 when Jesus arrives, with the voice of an archangel (not with an archangel), the dead in Christ will rise, then we who are left will be caught up together with them.
The whole idea of angel worship is something we in the west are very guilty of, Ben Harper not excluded.
Although there are many things angels do do, ascribing random things like this to them shows the lask of biblical theology involved by many a songwriter (robbie williams be warned - not least for other reasons!).

nosferatu: a symphony of horror

i finally found a copy of this great 1922 film, which, until now, i had only ever seen quite late at night on sbs, and it always freaked me out.
in the cold light of day, unfortunately, the seams showed much more. the vision however remained ever present, which is what the 1979(?) remake draws upon.
it is interesting (for me at least) to look at the inbetween-war period of german cinema, the standouts being this, and Metropolis (1927). both remain groundbreaking, and their stories and devices are anything but simplistic.
i wonder whether the current spate of hollywood remakes will again return to these breathtaking masterpieces?

before eternity

i watched tank girl last nite, as i sometimes do.
i do enjoy thinking about post-apocalyptic realities (i use this term because i am referring to a genre, a reality that is created and you are invited to join - think blade runner, ghost in the shell, 1984).
do you think we will get a chance at eternity on earth?
do you think we will get an attempt at utopia, to get things right, will we get the chance to redeem ourselves and have a go at fixing the planet before Christ returns?
is it realistic to expect that we will get to fix diseases, conquer planets, get rid of the 'evil' gene?
or are we headed towards decay?
will we have apocalypse on earth, with the johnny mnemonic/ghost in the shell/do androids dream of electric sheep (blade runner)/z is for zachariah/metropolis type world, or will any apocalype of that type be the apocalypse?
if so, should we speed that up? should we bring on the nukes? we're never going to have utopia, so why bother trying?!

Greed v Discontent

is there a difference between discontentment that leads to the accumulation of stuff (think shopping sprees) versus the better-than-the-joneses never-ending pursuit of wealth?
i mean to say feeling unfulfilled and discontent is quite a different malady than being greedy, but do they have necessarily different cures?
the solution to discontentment is to be content. content with who you are, what you have, where you fit in to the world, the grand scheme of things.
the drug of greed however seems quite different. is it necessarily due to a lack of fulfillment? for i think many greedy people are fulfilled, do have all they want, but simply enjoy the endless pursuit of more. i don't know whether this is a condition that needs a cure. i don't know whether the greedy person has a soul that cries out for meaning, for water to drink that will truly satisfy. i don't know whether this person needs anything? whether they need jesus?
the person who seeks contentment, however, will, and can truly be content when they find and accept jesus, the water that he brings.
but what, if anything, can we bring to the greedy person?

Hip Hip

So who gets to say Hip Hip before the Hooray (or Huzzah depending on your fancy)?
I tend to leave it for the closest or most important at the occasion, ie the Wife, Father, Prime Minister present.
I do, however, have a voice that lends itself to the Hip Hip, and feel a little guilty leaving it for the low-speaking VIP.
Am I correct to be observing protocol, or should I be taking the front foot, leading the way into the Hooray!!!?

really here

NEITHER presumtion of, nor resignation to, the future, allow us to truly embrace the present - we are able only to truly love and to serve, practically able to be involved when we have real hope.
Hope is nothing else than the expectation of those things which faith has believed to have been truly promised by God. - Calvin
FOR without that view of the future, we will become despondent with the lack of change, and will indeed become resigned to the downward trend of history, the decline of man.
BUT, being sure of our future in Christ, we can truly fix our eyes on him, unwaveringly following and serving him and his kingdom, toward the ends of his kingdom.

so, knowing the end is nigh, do we live presuming the coming, being resigned to the coming, OR are we realistically expecting his kingdom?

i say this to counter the thought that we live oblivious to the present, for i would suggest it is only in having this realistic expectaion of the future that we are able to properly grasp hold of the present.

(the vibe of these ideas were stolen off me by Jürgen Moltmann, long before i was born...)

My Memory is Your Memory

I remember watching a special on memory years ago, the idea of virtual memories in particular.
Coming off things such as Johnny Mnemonic, Ghost in the Shell (Stand Alone Complex) and the 2 movies, the idea that a soul may not be innately tied to the body fascinates me.
Especially considering the oft quoted Jewish doctrine of the body and the soul being one, to what extent are we able to virtualise memory? To the extent where we have duplicated the soul?

This clip got me thinking about it, we were planning to do this with my rapacious facial hair, take a photo every day, watching the progress and regress.
It may be too late to copywrite the idea, but i would love to do it one day.
Anyway, watch the clip.:

• ahree lee: me

Pets are poison

Is there a greater deadweight than a pampered pooch, a cared-for cat or an ascetically-pleasing armadillo?

I see them simply as a product of our avaricious society, and furthermore as ballast for the previous millenia,

the need for pets CANNOT be justified in the world today, when there are needs for:
a) housing
dog parks, beaches, etc. take up SO much room, that could be much more effectively usedfor higher density housing, rather than pandering to the needs of this selfish section of society.
b) monetary support for those less fortunate than ourselves
the amount of money spent on food, accessories, pedicures, vaccinations, medical bills (required due to increasingly higher standards for purebred animals) could be spent in so many more areas than on fuelling our desire to be needed, and this by animals bred purely for us, and sustained simply by supplying the continued need.

the possible exceptions are when the animals are working animals, are rescued from pounds (most of which are there simply because they were bred for an overestimated need), or for the VERY few people who benefit medicinally (ie sick kids, old people), when there is noone else to care and lift there spirits.

The need for animals is simply because we are so useless at caring for people, at showing them they are needed and loved.
In summary, the fact we even have pets is a blight on us - were we free of them, perhaps our time, energy and money, might be spent on each other.


On the other hand, if you would like to, you can donate to (for example) the

• poodle club of america

which is where i got the lovely photo from, so they can continue their great work!

Jesus Ain't A Dirty Word

At UNSW the 2nd Session Mission has begun!
It started yesterday with a debate between Rob Forsyth and Peter Slezak, on whether Jesus rose from the dead or not.
By all accounts it went well, with more questions raised than answers given, but the end result being that people need to make a decision of faith, whether they are willing to put their trust in the evidence for the ressurection of Christ or not!
Praise God!
Stay tuned for all the events, with MP3s of talks going up soon.

Have a look at:

• JesusAintADirtyWord.com

Cyclic v Linear

once upon a time, i was reading Sophie's World.
the discussion was comparing the indo-european cyclical view of history, with the arab-semitic linear view of history.

the issue seems to be the view makind has of the beginning and end of history, as clearly seen in the Bible, and the way that view is intertwined with the rather futile cyclical view of the world in, for example, Hinduism, where the point is to escape this stupid cycle.

there are obvious cycles seen in the Bible, however, in the 'rebellion-> punishment-> repentance-> redemption' whirlpool.

this seems in contrast to the idea of us getting our perspective in life from where we are in the timeline, from creation to judgement day.